


The last time we hold

by GilJuniorC



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:54:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29155419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GilJuniorC/pseuds/GilJuniorC
Summary: Alex wakes up in a forest, disoriented. Apparently he's been in a car accident.The problem is he wasn't expecting what he would discover when he arrived at the house that, together with Zach, he had bought.Warnings: unexpected twist, too much drama, blood.
Relationships: Zach Dempsey & Alex Standall, Zach Dempsey/Alex Standall
Kudos: 2





	The last time we hold

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Tʜᴇ ʟᴀsᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡᴇ ʜᴏʟᴅ  
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He opened his eyes with struggle. Not because they hurt, but rather because the light outside and the beeps were too loud and uncomfortable, so it took him a bit to get used to both. He blinked several times before managing to hold them open.  
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It was there that he was finally aware - at least a little - of what was happening. The first thing he saw was the headlights of his car. They didn't light correctly, one had been directly broken against a tree that was only a couple of meters in front of it. That made him remember he should be in the vehicle, as well as realize what it meant if he weren't. He had had a car accident. He looked up a bit more to keep inspecting. The front glass was completely destroyed. The pieces scattered everywhere, there were several of them next to his hands. It wasn't until that moment that he felt his entire body burn. He groaned in pain as soon as he tried to get up, but he bit his lower lip and managed to sit up in the wet grass. He began to shake, not sure if that reaction was due to the pain or the cold of the night. It had been raining, but luckily it had already stopped. He put a hand on his clothes, they seemed to be wet, not only from water but also had traces of blood. He verified that, just like them, his hair seemed soaked, although he couldn't be sure if it was only water, since his hand already had crimson tones from before.  
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Between groans, the blond young man managed to get up. He didn't know where he was, at least not exactly, just knew he was in a forest. He had to get out of there walking because it seemed to be the only way, but he was bleeding, he had to call for help but there was no one else there who could hear him. He took a couple of steps toward the car, staring into the vehicle with fear shining in his eyes.  
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There was no one inside of it. He sighed, calmer. What would he have done if Zach had been in there? His mother? His father?  
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He continued walking for a couple of minutes, until he saw a small hill that he had to climb using his hands to get to the road. His car had somehow fallen into the gutter, into the woods. He didn't remember why. Was he drunk? Or had he simply lost control of the vehicle? He wrapped his arms around his body, hugging himself as he continued walking down the shoulder. Why was he going that direction? He didn't know, he was lost and needed to ask for help, he just would walk until he found someone.  
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He couldn't say how long he was wandering the road, but how many cars passed and ignored him. Maybe four? Five? It hadn't been too many, but enough for him to lose hope. Halfway through, when three had already dodged him at full speed, he was aware that his phone was missing. He couldn't call for help and the few chances that someone would find him in that forest vanished as soons as the fourth car ignored him. They were probably avoiding him because of his actual condition. He was limping from walking so much, he could swear he was full of wounds, he was bleeding. Who in their right mind was going to help him in those conditions and at those hours of the night? Luckily, he ended up arriving in Evergreen.

His house was near the entrance of the town. He lived in a beautiful home that he and his fiancé had bought, chosen by both of them. When he saw it at the end of the street, he couldn't help smiling through tears, tears that had been falling down his face for a long time without realizing it. He wiped them using the sleeve of his shirt, dirty of already dried blood as he quickened his stride as much as his aching body allowed. The streets were empty, Alex wasn't sure what time it was because of the loss of his phone and, for some reason, he wasn't wearing the watch on his wrist either, he didn't know why. Anyway, considering the darkness, the lack of people wandering the street and that it was Friday, he assumed it was already midnight. Why had he gone out alone with the car then?

It only took him a couple more minutes to get to his front door. The lights inside were on, the door closed.

He was just trying to put his hand on the doorknob when his entire body froze.  
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His eyes widened fixed on his hand, he began to tremble even more and the tears piled up again, threatening to roll down his cheeks.  
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Suddenly, the door opened in front of him and Alex's eyes slid from his skin to meet the dark, visibly frightened eyes of his fiancé. He was standing in front of him, holding the door handle on the other side, looking him up and down but not daring to touch him, as if he was afraid to break him.  
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As if that were possible.  
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That was how he remembered everything.  
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Zach's hand was gripping the blond's arm tightly, pulling him back. But it didn't take long for Alex to get rid of the grip of a sudden movement.  
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"Leave me alone! I'm sick of you treating me like a glass doll. I'm sick, not crippled, Dempsey” he yelled, frowning, after turning and finding him face to face. His blue eyes now looked like rain on a stormy night, a strong blue color taking over his iris. "I don't want to go on living as if you were afraid that with any little scratch I would die. It doesn't work like that, but, even knowing it, it seems like you're afraid of touching me and I'm fucking sick of having to live my last months of life like this."  
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"Stop saying these are your last few months! You still don't even know the results of the test, I just don't want to hurt you, why don't you understand?" Alex could see the concern in his eyes, and it infuriated him. He grabbed the keys from the table next to the entrance and turned around again, he couldn't look him in the face.  
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He did know the results, tho. It was just that Zach had no idea that the blonde had gone to the doctor without telling him. He knew what he was going to say and was not prepared to see his partner's face when the doctor informed them of the inevitable. Metastasis in the lungs, kidneys and liver.  
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He wasn't angry with him, on the contrary, it was with himself with whom he could not bear to be. Alex must to get rid of him soon as he couldn't drag him into that darkness that would be the next few months, or even worse, a year like that. The dark-haired man deserved to be happy, and that was something Alex wasn't able to provide him; the blond was aware of that every time he looked into his sad and darker eyes when he heard him cough, when his nose was bleeding or whenever he was short of breath. Since the second time that had happened during sex, Zach had made the decision not to touch him like that again. And he understood, but he was running out of excuses to push his fiancé away.  
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That hurt more than cancer did.  
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"Is that for real, or are you just fucking someone else and coming home tired after work, Zachy?"  
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Tired of working overtime to pay for his chemotherapy, bone marrow transplants. Tired of finishing the workday and going to the pharmacy to buy him the medicines he should take for vomiting, fever, night sweats... Tired of giving everything for him, not of fucking someone else on their bed. He wasn't surprised by the face the young man had, who was looking at him with hate... or perhaps exhaustion.  
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"Are you really going to tell me that shit? I'm fighting for you!" Tears began to roll down the blonde's cheeks, but he turned his back to Zach, opening the front door of the house they both shared. For a moment, he thought about taking the ring off and throwing it at his face, but couldn't find the strength to do so. No, not the ring.  
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"STANDALL!" He yelled, but the young man was already running to his Chevrolet, parked across the street. His hair and clothes were completely soaked in a few seconds with the huge storm that was starting to fell from the sky.  
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He couldn't bear listening to him screaming his name in that cracking voice, it was too much. He didn't turn around or look at the rearview mirror. He was afraid he was following him and he might not be able to start the car.  
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Perhaps what happened next was a mix between speed and his mental condition, or maybe the problem was he couldn't see anything with the storm, the tears in his eyes that were falling insatiably and the fact that he wasn't wearing a belt.  
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It would have been nice to say he didn't have time to suffer, but he remained conscious for a couple of minutes… Even so, the last expression he saw on her fiancé's face had hurt more.

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"Alex ...? You're…” He held out his hand, but instinctively the blond took a step back.  
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Nothing hurt anymore except his heart. He could no longer cry, although he did feel that despair completely taking over his soul. It was as if realizing what was happening, when everything made sense, everything came true.  
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"Zach… I'm sorry, I'm so, so, sorry," he gasped, seeing his fiancé shaking his head.  
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"It's okay, really, get in the house, you're going to get a cold. You need to change your clothes, you're soaked… ” He stepped aside, leaving space for the young man to walk into the house. He reached out, wanted to touch him, but Alex came in quickly, giving him no time.  
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"You know I love you with all my heart, right? I haven't told you so much lately, I've been acting like a real asshole and… ”Zach opened his mouth to answer, but the blonde didn't want to give him any chance. He had to take this last chance, be honest to finally leave the brunette's heart in piece, stop pretending, stop being the idiot he had been with him for a few months— Let me speak, please. I need to… let go of all this.” Alex's lips curved in an expression of pain. Tears weren't falling, he wasn't choking, but it felt like he were. Zach was looking at him terrified from the door, leaning against it. "I know it hasn't been easy for you, I have been behaving like that because I was afraid that being close to me would hurt you more than my own words. And now I know I've been an asshole. The cancer has metastasized, Zach. I had known that for two weeks, I didn't tell you before because I couldn't bear to see your reaction... this reaction."  
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Why didn't he take advantage of the time he still had to spend with him? Why didn't he kiss him much more, hug him and bury his head in the hollow of his neck a couple more times? Why had he been so stupid? Zach was crying and he just couldn't hold him and tell him that everything would be okay. He couldn't lie to him anymore.  
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"Alex… Lex…" He gasped, lowering his head to fix his eyes on the ground. The shorter one knew he was crying and, if he had been able, he would be doing exactly the same thing. "We can handle this. And if we don't, I will spend with you all the time we have, babe. It's the only thing I want, please don't take me away from you. Now tell me... what happened? Why are you soaked with blood?"  
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He was lucky the dark-eyed one didn't dare to take any step to hug him. Alex simply nodded.  
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"It was a miracle... I... I had an accident. I walked home in shock and… I left my cell phone, my wallet, everything there."  
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"We have to go to the hospital, you may have some serious damage, Lex..."  
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"No, I don't want to go," he cut him off before he could finish speaking. "I'll take a shower, I want... I want some calm. I'm fine, really, it doesn't hurt at all, you know that just a small cut makes me bleed a lot and... it really hasn't been that bad. It seems more than it is because of the rain. I promise you, but first... I need you to do me a favor."  
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Zach sighed. Obviously, he was not happy with that, but he trusted his partner. If something was really wrong, he'd agree to go. So he just nodded with his head and Alex smiled, though almost instantly he swallowed hard and took a deep breath. More out of habit than any other reason.  
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"I left everything there. It is on the road in the way out of Evergreen, the main one, straight ahead if you continue to the left. My mobile, my wallet... Obviously, I will have to call the insurance and I have all my identification there. I... I better not go. I need something warm so I don't get pneumonia. Could you go, please? I promise you I will call my father."  
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Zach didn't complain. If he called his father, he would take care of him and could help him much more. He nodded again and, with a small smile drawn on his lips, approached the blonde to place a kiss on his forehead. But Alex just took a couple of steps back with a sad smile he tried to disguise as reassuring.  
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"I'm a mess. Go, when you come back everything will be fine, I promise you. I'll go to the shower now to get all this off me.”he excused himself.  
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Zach grabbed the house and car keys and blew him an air kiss.  
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"I love you, okay? I'm not going to let you go."  
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"Seem fine to me. I will always love you, Zachary Dempsey.” He bit his lower lip, but it couldn't make it less painful for him. "Always remember it when I can't tell you."  
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And after hearing that, the one with Asian features walked out the door without knowing that this would be the last time he would see him... at least as he remembered.

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He found the cell phone and the wallet. The first one smashed into the car. It had probably broken when hitting one of the parts of it. The wallet, on the other hand, was not lying around.  
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Alex still had it in his pocket.  
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Zach's throat was ripped from screaming for help, even though he knew there was nothing to do about it anymore. He had found the bloody body of his boyfriend several meters from the tree he had collided with. Too many. He had shot off and then, considering the trail of blood, rolled across the still wet grass of that forest. His eyes were closed, his body positioned in a position that was anything but natural, his skull full of blood was still soaked in that crimson color that the car headlights let him distinguish through all the darkness of night. Zach had picked him up, unaware that all of his clothes were now soaked in the same liquid. He kissed his cheeks, his forehead, trying to ignore the gap in his head. With one hand he held the face of the one who would continue to be his fiancée for the rest of his life against his chest, while the other did the same with his hand, intertwining his fingers with Alex's.  
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The sirens of the ambulance he had called as soon as he saw that well-known body in the distance while he was looking for the damned wallet were already sounding in the distance, he could even see the red and blue lights of the vehicle shining through the trees.  
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He wasn't ready to say goodbye.  
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He was not ready to admit that that night he would return to an empty house where he planned to leave his boyfriend about to have a bath.  
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He wasn't ready to get used to the idea that this was the last time he touched his skin.

That just couldn't be the last time they hold.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really sorry for this but I just had to do it :')


End file.
